Hope in a Box

I'm reminded of how much I truly enjoy forming connections with people and how they are so rare in my life.  I especially enjoy very long conversations that I never want to end.  I won't go into details as the involved party will probably be the only one who gets this.  It's something I felt I need to mention as my blogs are about things that are important to me.

 

I've found that often when I write blog entries or even when I just talk there are still parts of me that I never let anyone see or open up to anyone about.  I learned a long time ago to never put myself too far out there or really let anyone into the depths.  Pain is not something I care to deal with on a daily basis.

 

The question I ask myself often is "Am I strong enough to be who I want to be?"  I hope that someday I find the answer to that question.  I keep learning about new parts of me and I've learned I don't hate myself like I used to think I did.  Depression tends to tell our minds the lies of a thousand insults.

 

I have hope for the future and hope everything will work out in my favor eventually.  I've got to remember to always keep a positive attitude even on the worst days when the world falls in around me.

 

Today I don't feel that way, today has been a good day and I've caught myself smiling more often than usual.

 

I have my reasons for doing so, but that is something reserved.

 

I enjoy waking up everyday and learning something new.  I think my childhood wonder is still in there somewhere, which means so is my creativity. 

 

Hope is rekindled.

 

Have you ever had days when you just wanted to move to a new place and start all over?  Maybe take a chance, sink or swim.  There have been many chances in my life left untaken and the past cannot be fixed only the present, which will alter the course of the future.

 

So I called the bossman and didn't get anything but the voicemail.  Left a message but I have no idea when I go back to work.  I'm not sure if I actually care or not.  They definitely need to get their dates straight.

 

Listening to Pandora radio and that reminded me of the one thing that didn't escape Pandora's box in mythology: Hope :-)